Managing the Occasional Chaos of Clients and Colleagues

Attorneys, and especially solo and small-firm attorneys, are highly resilient and self-reliant professionals. But that resilience and self-reliance sometimes comes at a cost. While certain aspects of practice are controllable, clients and colleagues frequently create chaos. Left unaddressed, this chaos can strain relationships, leave you feeling overextended and burnt out, and diminish your advocacy. Managing the chaos isn’t just good for your wellbeing; it’s an imperative for maintaining an ethical, sustainable, and successful practice.

Set Boundaries and Manage Expectations

Boundaries and realistic expectations safeguard your time, focus, and bandwidth. In setting boundaries and managing the expectations of clients and colleagues, be attentive to matters such as:

• Your available hours. While clients and colleagues frequently expect you to be available around the clock, you can’t be. So set regular hours that you’re available, and avoid the temptation to stray from them unless something is a true emergency. Just as clients and colleagues don’t want you to disrespect your time, don’t let them disrespect yours.
• Outcomes. Every client wants to win, and colleagues working on the same “side” of a matter with you similarly hope for excellent work and great results. But so much of the law is unpredictable, and outcomes simply cannot be guaranteed or precisely predicted. Discuss this with clients and colleagues before predicting the results of cases and negotiations.
• Behavior and Communication Styles. Do not tolerate threatening or unprofessional behavior or communication styles from clients, colleagues, or even people in your firm. Do not tolerate harassment or aggressive or erratic behavior. Be congenial and dignified in your communications and professional interactions with others and expect the same of them.

Remember: boundaries don’t have to be walls; they can be filters. They can keep out things that are unnecessarily draining and unproductive, and create space for you to focus and work on worthwhile matters.

Don’t Internalize the Chaos

Attorneys are often the only buffer between their clients’ crises and the legal system. But their chaos is not your chaos. So try not to internalize it (admittedly, this is much easier said than done). Some strategies to avoid internalizing the chaos include:

• Detaching empathetically. You can be compassionate without being entangled. Try to listen actively and validate reasonable emotions, but resist adopting your clients’ and colleagues’ emotional states. When presented with someone else’s chaotic circumstance, try to remember that you can care without “carrying” the chaos yourself.
• Being attentive to your inputs. Constant emails, phone calls, text messages, and docket alerts force your brain into a reactive state. When you need to focus and when you are outside of your available business hours, remember that you ultimately get to control when and how you monitor email, accept phone calls, respond to text messages, etc. Tuning out for a bit each day leaves you better equipped for any additional chaos tomorrow.

In Summary

Solo and small firm attorneys are more than just lawyers—we’re counselors, business owners, and human beings. Managing the chaos by setting boundaries, managing expectations, keeping the chaos “outside,” and knowing when it’s OK to “walk away” preserves your effectiveness and your purpose.