ALPS In Brief Podcast - Episode 80: Empowering Women in Law - The GIRL ATTORNEY story

Rio Peterson:

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode 80 of ALPS's In Brief Podcast. My name is Rio Peterson. I will be your host today. I am the Bar Partnership Strategist at ALPS, and I'm very excited to be here, kind of sharing hosting duties with Mark, who will be joining us on a future episode. But for today, you got me, and you've also got with you and myself with Susan Carns Curtiss. Susan, hi. Welcome.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Hi, Rio. Thank you for having me.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah. Thank you for joining us. So for those of you who don't know, Susan is not just a lawyer, but also the founder of an incredible group called GIRL ATTORNEY. So today, we're going to sit down and chat with her a little bit about her work as a lawyer and her work with the group. And in honor of Women's History Month, we're going to be exploring all of the incredible opportunities and ways that GIRL ATTORNEY has brought women together. So, Susan, do you want to start by telling us a little bit about yourself?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Sure. So I am an attorney based out of Oklahoma City. I am a personal injury attorney, and I handle cases just within the state of Oklahoma related to when someone's injured as a result of an auto collision. I do a little bit of other things, but mostly, if someone calls me about anything else, I tell them where they can find good representation, not from me. I know what I know and I know what I don't know in plaintiff's personal injury and, specifically, auto neg, auto negligence. So that's really my sweet spot, and that's what I'm focused on. That's what I do.

Rio Peterson:

Sick. And I feel like knowing what you know and knowing what you don't know is kind of a superpower, actually. I don't think a lot of people know what they don't know.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And truly, that's one of the most valuable things I've come to appreciate as an attorney, is the value of practicing in an area where you know what your limits are. So you're never going to know it all. And even if the laws on the books haven't changed, how it's applied, it is evolving. There's new fact situations, and people are always looking for new ways to understand how the law applies today.

So one thing, and we'll get to GIRL ATTORNEY later, but one of the most valuable things that I have gleaned from my years of watching women have conversations there is, yes, I should not dabble in anything else, because as they have conversations about nuances and areas of practice I don't have, I realize more and more, "Yes, good to know. Interesting." And it's just affirmation. My comfort level is to stay in my lane.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

No pun intended.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah. And being a specialist is a fantastic thing.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Well, yes, focusing on one area of practice is what works well for me. So I can feel confident. Like I said, even when I don't know, I know what the boundaries are, I know what the questions are, and I know it's not a function of, "I just don't know this area of practice well enough." I never want my client to have their case handled by somebody who really doesn't know.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah. Yes. Absolutely.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Right?

Rio Peterson:

Absolutely.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

That's where you want your clients. So my personal injury clients, if they call me about estates, I say, "I love that you trust me with that. I do not trust me with that. So let me find you someone." That's my point.

Rio Peterson:

Fantastic. I love that. I feel like your clients can really trust you to do what's best for them and serve their best interest.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Hopefully. Hopefully.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Yes.

Rio Peterson:

So how long have you been practicing law, Susan?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Since I graduated in '06, December of '06. And so, I took the bar early '07 and got sworn in a couple months later when, thankfully, I passed that sucker first try. So that's how long I've been practicing, and very thankful for that. Yup. It's been a bit.

Rio Peterson:

Awesome. What first drew you to law?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Oh, okay. And actually, we did not talk about this ahead of time, so you don't know, but I love telling the story.

Rio Peterson:

Excellent.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I was a juror. That's why.

Rio Peterson:

Wow, really?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I was a juror on a case in Oklahoma, of course. It was a bad-faith case, which is basically when someone sues their insurance company because they believe the insurance company didn't handle their claim properly, and not just a mistake, like, "They did bad. That's why it's bad faith." All right. So I'm a juror on this case, and it was a week-and-a-half-long trial. I, at the time, was working at a flower shop part-time, thinking about, "Maybe I should start my own business."

I checked out a library book for break time during jury duty on how to open a flower shop. This is kind of where I thought my life was going. And over the course of a week and a half, I thought, "Oh my gosh, this is the best show ever."

Rio Peterson:

That's so cool.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Well, I mean, truly, bad-faith cases, it's insurance. It really shouldn't be interesting, but I was fascinated with all of it. So long story short, at the end of that week-and-a-half-long trial, I reached out to the judge, a woman, because I was relatively new to Oklahoma City, and I didn't know anyone who was an attorney. Well, I didn't know any women who were attorneys. So there was a neighbor, who was a guy, who was an attorney. But anyway, I didn't know anybody. And so, I thought, "Well..." I mean, I was just so young, just such a baby, little baby adult. I was pregnant with my third when I was going through jury duty.

Rio Peterson:

Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And so, I spoke with the judge and asked her, "Hey, can I take you out for lunch?" And she said, "No, but I can host you for lunch in my office." And so, we had lunch, and she was so, so nice. And I've done a little homework. I found out she was a parent. She had children. I've since met her daughter, and she's a lovely person and all this. But anyway, the point is, I thought, "Well, I guess, clearly, she's a successful woman attorney," even though she's a judge, not an attorney.

But anyway, I didn't understand all that. I mean, I knew she wasn't an attorney, but the point is, I was like, "She's a successful woman with a law degree," because I was thinking, "Maybe I should do this." So I met with her. And then after that, I called her back a month or two later and asked her, "Hey, I'm really still curious about this. Could I make your coffee and sweep your floor so I could see more about what happens in a courtroom?"

And I literally did that, and she was like, "Yeah. So I already have people that do that, but you are welcome to come in anytime." So I did. Over the next year, she was so kind. She let me come and watch. We'd sit and talk about things after they happened out in the courtroom. I mean, it was nothing that was even on the other side. I know she didn't cross anything since she wasn't supposed to.

But she would let me hash out my questions about, "Why did it look this way?" or "Why did they handle it this way? Why didn't they do this?" and then her two cents on it. It was just a really amazing experience. She actually also would let me read the briefs that had been submitted to her. Again, all public record, but it was a unique experience. She'd say, "Why don't you go read this stuff and let me know your thoughts on how you think I should rule?"

I know nothing. I was like 0% helpful to her. She was just being nice to me. But it did really get me interested in being a lawyer and being a litigator, and grew my appreciation and my understanding beyond that of being a juror, because that was clearly a front-row seat to what litigators do, but getting to have a better feel of what happens up until and what might potentially even help resolve a case without a trial.

Anyway, so yeah, a year and a half later, I was on a jury in June of '02, again, pregnant with James, my youngest. And then in the fall of '03, when my son was nine months old, I started law school. So I had three kids. And yeah, it was incredible.

Rio Peterson:

That's so cool. That's so cool. And really, kudos to the judge. Sorry, what was her name?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I didn't say. Her name is Nancy, Nancy Coats.

Rio Peterson:

Nancy? Yeah. Well, kudos to Nancy for really nurturing your curiosity and providing that vehicle for you, really, that ability for you to explore and dive deeper into that. That's a really incredible story. Have you kept in touch with Nancy at all?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Oh, yes.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I'm the president of her fan club. Wait, she doesn't really have a fan club. But yes, we absolutely have, and it's so sweet. In fact, she just got honored a few months ago, and she invited me to sit at her table. Right? I was her guest at this thing.

Rio Peterson:

Oh, that's wonderful.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So that is the long story short as to our relationship.

Rio Peterson:

Gorgeous.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Absolutely. She has maintained a relationship with me and invested in me, and she tells me all the time how proud she is of me.

Rio Peterson:

Oh, wonderful.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And it's funny. And actually too, another fun, crazy thing about this: The defendant in that bad-faith lawsuit, we found in favor of the plaintiff as against the defendant. The defendant was Mid-Century Insurance Company, which is a subsidiary. I may not be using the right word. But basically, they're under, and also, they are a Farmers Insurance company.

Rio Peterson:

Got it.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

When I graduated law school, my first litigation job was with Farmers Insurance.

Rio Peterson:

Was it with Farmers?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Yes.

Rio Peterson:

That's great. What a small world.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Oh, yeah. So small. My eventual boss, I mean, technically, he was a colleague. He wasn't really my boss. But he had decades of experience on me, and we both worked at Farmers. He was my boss in my mind. He was on the stand for four or six hours of this trial.

Rio Peterson:

That's incredible.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Crazy. And they did know. They did know. Yeah. But they still hired me. And we entered a verdict against Farmers for, I think it was 2.1 million.

Rio Peterson:

Oh, wow.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Anyway, at any rate, it wasn't like chump change. It was real dinero. Anyway, but yeah, that's crazy. It is crazy, but it is true. That is how I ended up in law school. I just was a fascinated juror, and did homework that just made sense to me. At one point, Judge Coats said to me... I don't remember now if it was weeks or months or years into it, but she, at one point, said to me... And this did stick out. She said, "It took a lot of guts to reach out to a judge."

Rio Peterson:

Yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And I remember thinking, "Oh my gosh, if someone would've told me it takes guts to do this, I would not have done it." It just made sense to me. I was just like, "Who else am I going to ask? I don't know any women attorneys. This is the one woman attorney I've ever been exposed to in this city or state. I might as well ask her."

Rio Peterson:

Did you?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So, yes-

Rio Peterson:

It seems like she would know.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

... I had no idea. I just was a desperate person for information, and she was nice enough to respond. So yeah, it is kind of funny how, looking back, I accidentally did things just by following my nose that led me to the right place to be at the right time. Yeah.

Rio Peterson:

Wow, that's such an incredible-

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I'm very thankful.

Rio Peterson:

... origin story. I really love that you reached out and that she received, and here you are. It's really incredible. And I think that that's also a really good, possibly, segue into how you came to found GIRL ATTORNEY, because I think there's a lot of parallels with women lifting each other up and helping each other kind of get further and move forward. So tell me a little bit about how GIRL ATTORNEY came to be.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So I worked at Farmers for a few years, and I had a great experience. My colleagues were great. The company was good to work for. Our clients as lawyers were the insureds. And I was in an office where it was very clear, my loyalty was to my client, not the person who paid my check, because you can see how that could be an issue. And all I can say about the office I was in was, is there was never a question. Never. Your loyalty, your obligation is to our insured, not to Farmers.

And it's rare anything came up, but I never felt like there was a pushback when there was something. Anyway, so great experience, but I was 13... 12 or 13. I can't remember. I think it was 12, maybe it was 13, jury trials, three-and-a-half years into doing the work with Farmers, and I started to feel a tension about whether or not I have been given this opportunity to go to law school to save an insurance company money.

Rio Peterson:

Right.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Again, I worked with great people. You need to have good, nice people on both sides that will advocate hard for their clients. So I always took a lot of pride in the work I did, but I would often get verdicts for zero for the plaintiff, or very little for the plaintiff, which, by the way, my clients loved, the adjusters loved, Farmers loved. I was not loving myself as much as each trial went on. I thought, "Oh." I mean, you win one, two, three, or four, and you're like, I was anyway, "I'm a killer. I am so good at this. Oh, I'm a boss. People love me."

Okay. But eventually, this is happening over and over and over and over, and I thought, "I mean, I know I'm just doing my job. I'm not calling anyone a liar, but I'm just trying to get the impression that the system is slanted in favor of my position on the civil side." And that was my experience. That is not always the case, but it just ended up being my experience.

And so, I was this many. I was at least a dozen trials in, and I had gotten one verdict total. It was my second trial, where a verdict was more than our last offer. But everything else was a zero or it was less than our offer. And so, it's a win. I mean, that's how they calculate a win. So even if it's a plaintiff's verdict, if it's real low, then... If it's lower than our last offer, it's a win.

Rio Peterson:

Right.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So I started feeling like this wasn't the long-term career for me, because I wanted to be able to go and fight hard on behalf of my client, respectfully, but hard and focused. And if I somehow accomplished more than maybe I meant to, I could still be excited. Right? Instead, I was like, "Oh, man. I zeroed him out again." Like, "Thank you. Thank you. Adjusters love me." But I just wasn't enjoying it, because I thought, "Some of these people really should be getting something, and they should be getting more."

And so, it was around that time, a lawyer from the other side reached out and asked if I would be willing to switch to the plaintiffs' side. So long story short, I ended up doing plaintiffs' work, and that's when I came to find out or more clearly understand that there are so few women that do plaintiffs' personal injury work.

Rio Peterson:

Oh.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I mean, even my own experience, every jury trial I had was against a guy.

Rio Peterson:

Ooh, interesting.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

There are very few women that do plaintiffs' personal injury work. So it was going to trial lawyer conferences and having... Occasionally, I did. I had bad experiences, and somehow connected to the fact of being a woman among... three women among 100 men at a conference. Right? So sometimes bad things happened, but really no worse than what anybody experiences out there as a woman in a profession, period.

Rio Peterson:

Being a woman in the world is-

Susan Carns Curtiss:

It happens.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And not in a passive way, but just to say there's just like... That was the norm. That's a baseline. But also, I would have people just being polite, saying, "Oh, so whose wife are you?"

Rio Peterson:

Oh, yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Right? They're not even trying to be a jerk.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah. Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

But I was constantly expressing to people that, in one way or the other, "Oh, I actually belong here. Oh, so anyway, funny story, I'm one of you. I hear you. I don't have that bonus body part, but this is news to you. This is not a reason to assume I'm here as a spouse." Right?

Rio Peterson:

Yeah. "I assure you that I can be here."

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. But all that to say too, these are people who are not trying to be ugly. They were trying to be polite to somebody's spouse. But it's just these culture norms, and living and then now working in a very male-dominated space is what led me to look for a space online. I literally looked for it in the back of a room at one of those conferences. I was like, "Now I'm getting on my laptop looking for something. There's got to be something out there."

And, of course, there's women's bar associations, and they are awesome, and there are organizations for networking for women professionals in general. But I couldn't find something across the US that was a community for women attorneys. And maybe it existed, but I couldn't find it. So anyway, that is really the shortest version of the GIRL ATTORNEY origin story. I was looking for a place, and then I created a space where women attorneys could be a part of it, and no one would say, "Yeah. I'm sorry, do you belong here?"

Rio Peterson:

Yeah. Yeah. "Is your husband coming to the meeting? Should we wait for him?"

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Yes.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Yes. Exactly. Exactly. "Who's endorsing you today? Who's sponsoring you?"

Rio Peterson:

"Who vetted you?"

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Yes. But that led to me starting a Facebook group, and this was in 2016. I really did, at that point, only imagine... No, it's '14. Anyway, whenever it was. Whenever I started it, I imagined... It was on Facebook, and it was before a lot of law firms even had Facebook business pages.

Rio Peterson:

Right.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I imagine today, I say it's kind of like people who have... TikTok feels like, "Well, that's for younger people." I can say that because an old person. And kudos to all the people who are in their 50s and older, and they are rock stars on TikTok. I'm like... But it feels foreign to me, right?

Rio Peterson:

Right.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And so, when I created this group on Facebook, I imagined it would be a social space. I never imagined what it became. And that's really a sweet testament to what the community is, which is, it's very organic. It's what the women bring to the group, which allows other women to receive from the group. But yeah, it started as just a social... I added, I think it was just under 50 people.

Rio Peterson:

Right.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

"Hi, everyone. You're all my Facebook friends who are lawyers. I know all of you." I literally did this. "I know all of you, but you don't necessarily know each other. So I'm just thinking, if you want, you can introduce yourself, and you're welcome to invite other women." And that's how it started. So that was 50-something women.

And then about a week later, there were 1,000 women in the group. And then within a few weeks, people started asking practice questions. Kind of like if you walked down the hall and you asked the lawyer at the other end of the hall, "Hey, how would you file this?" or "Have you ever filed one of these? Do you have a template or a go-by that I could look at?" Right?

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

People started asking those questions. And sorry, I'm going on a little bit.

Rio Peterson:

You're great.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

But anyway, so that... Okay. And people were saying, "Hey, I woke up at 3:00 AM with a sick kid. I've got a docket in such and such county." There's a call. Their docket call... "Is anyone possibly going to be there already who can answer for my case and let them know XYZ?" And otherwise, total strangers were saying, "Yeah. I'm going to be there. Happy to help." Right?

Rio Peterson:

Wow.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I know, right?

Rio Peterson:

Like a very organic process.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Yup.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

That led to somebody saying, "Hey, can we get a separate group for just our state?" And I think that was Texas. And so, I started a Texas group. And then, of course, I'm based out of Oklahoma, so most of the women were in Oklahoma. I started a separate Oklahoma group. But that original group is the one that we call GIRL ATTORNEY - NATIONAL now. And so, that's just because sometimes things are federal questions or it's something that you really just...

I encourage people, if they're going to join a state group, to also join the national group, because sometimes people will ask a question, "Oh, I'm looking for an attorney in Tennessee," because they think, "Oh, I don't need to join the Tennessee group." They don't need to join the Tennessee group. But if they do, they're going to get 30 people answer their question, as far as if they need a referral, or if they need a question, they asked.

In the national group, though, it does give sort of a clearinghouse for just addressing whomever, because it's not a state-specific question, or you're just asking, "Hey, does anyone know anyone in this other state?" that they'd recommend, or raise your own hand. So that's how it happened. And now, just recently, just within the last week, we confirmed we're over 37,000-women strong.

Rio Peterson:

That's incredible, because I think when we talked a couple weeks ago, it was like 34-

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Close.

Rio Peterson:

... or it wasn't too long.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

36.

Rio Peterson:

34.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

It was 36.

Rio Peterson:

But still, it's incredible. I mean, it started with just 50 people being like, "Hey, you guys, maybe we could chat." And now you have 37,000 members, and you have chapters in, what, all 50 states, I believe. Isn't it?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Okay.

Rio Peterson:

Oh my God.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I have a group for every state on Facebook. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the Vermont group. Okay?

Rio Peterson:

Well, come on, everybody. Anyone listening from Vermont, let's go.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. And it really is interesting. It just happens organically. What typically happens for a group to hit the ground running, all the groups have existed now for a few years, but for a group to just take off, it usually... And this is by observation. I've never asked anybody to do this, but this is what happens. One person in a state decides to do what I did with the first group. They add not one or two people, but they literally invite 50 friends, and they're like, "Hey, ladies, this is a space we can use."

Rio Peterson:

Right. Oh, that's interesting.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

"Introduce yourself to each other." And whenever that has happened, it has just taken off from there, and it's just sweet. And there are some states... Let me give a good example. Ah, golly. Well, I won't name names, but there are some states where I swear all the people who are in the group are people who went there to say, "Hey, I'm looking to refer a case to someone in the state for a family law issue." And no one's there to answer their question. Right?

And so, now we've got five or six or eight people in certain state groups where the only people in the group are people who are like, "I would like to hire a lawyer here." But there's no one in the state who's been added or found their way there yet. So it is interesting. I feel no urgency. Technically, it is GIRL ATTORNEY, LLC, but I don't charge for membership. It's more or less run in terms of the members as a nonprofit.

Rio Peterson:

Right. Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Now, I'm not speaking as someone who does nonprofit law, so don't misunderstand that as like a legal term. I'm just saying there's no membership fees. There are no boards. I think the value is not creating yet another organization to ask for your time or money. Right? Nobody needs that. There are ample nonprofits. There are wonderful, professional, your bar associations, whether it's the state bar for everybody or a women's bar, or the plaintiffs' bar, the defense bar.

All those organizations already exist and provide great opportunities for leadership, education, and I like to add to that. I like to support what the bar associations are doing. I try to follow as many as I can on social media. I repost their events into the groups. But we're here to support women helping women. That's what I do. The no-fee is also partly based on my desire to create a space where, whether someone has had their law school paid for, they have no debt, and maybe they're going straight into big law. I mean, good for you, girl. Go get it. That gal's got plenty of extra dinero. And if I charged whatever a year that she thought it was worth, she can and hopefully would pay it. Right?

Rio Peterson:

Right.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

But there's also women who've graduated with a mile-high pile of debt and who are in public service work. And guess what? If I charged $5 a year, I mean, is it worth it? Yes. It would absolutely be worth the $5, but it would also be a reason somebody said no, because they're like, "That is technically not necessary, so I'm not going to pay it." And I want everybody to be in there regardless of their economic situation and also regardless of their connections in the legal profession, because many women come from legal families, and there are plenty of women who do not.

And they don't have the connections. They don't know who's who in their state, in their city, and the GIRL ATTORNEY community helps provide access to them. There are partners in law firms in the very same Facebook group as the brand-new associate. I love that. And when I see partner so-and-so post a meme, and her associate gets to laugh at it with her, I'm like, "That's kind of like passing the woman in the hallway and giving her a high five."

Rio Peterson:

Absolutely.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Who gets to do that? Law firms can be very not chill.

Rio Peterson:

Right. Yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So this creates a space where they can help each other. Also, this associate gets to contribute to questions, pick up cases, and it's potentially an opportunity for that partner to see this gal going and getting it done. Right?

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So it's just a way to facilitate connection and, hopefully, elevate women in the profession, which helps elevate the woman in her community, which helps her help her own family, and make a difference... Well, I guess I sort of did that backwards. I mean, really, ultimately, I want her to be helped individually, professionally, and also, it impacts her ability to help her community, and it helps everybody.

Rio Peterson:

Absolutely. And something I really, really love about this and about the GIRL ATTORNEY community is that success and opportunity is not a zero-sum game. There's enough for everybody.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Yes.

Rio Peterson:

And I really feel that just how GIRL ATTORNEY has evolved and grown is really testament to the fact that there was a major need for a community where women feel equal, where they feel seen, where they don't feel embarrassed about asking a question, or where they have opportunities to connect with each other on an equal footing, is really incredible. And I'm so excited. I'm so excited that it just keeps growing, and that women keep connecting, and that it keeps just building. It's fantastic. Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I'm thankful.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah. I mean, I hope we all are, because it's great.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Yeah.

Rio Peterson:

And so, I know we've got just a few more minutes left here, but I did want to talk about some of the people and experiences you've had through GIRL ATTORNEY and through building this. Now, I know that you put on a conference just before the great pandemic.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Yes.

Rio Peterson:

And so, I know you've gotten to connect with some pretty incredible people. Can you tell me maybe who was someone that really stood out to you or a moment that really made you feel like, "This is a really good thing that I'm doing and building"?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Okay. I've got two answers to that question. One, I have to give explicit props, express my admiration and appreciation for the role that Judge Coats had in facilitating the conversation, which led to the opportunity. Right? So that was, for sure, a difference maker for me. I have no idea if she would've not been willing to make time in her schedule to meet with me. Maybe I would've never taken those next steps.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And then, otherwise, I can say broadly just the fact that I get to see all these women helping each other, and making each other laugh and encouraging each other. So without singling any one person out, just to say, that has really made an impression on me. Okay. I have a theory. I'll try to be as quick as possible.

Rio Peterson:

Okay. I'm ready.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So we have heard for years that women are hardest on women. And I will tell you, one time, we had a situation in Oklahoma. It was a few years ago, and it's a good story. But the point is, on the other side of... They had the teacher walkouts. There were a ton of teacher walkouts in maybe '17, '18, I can't remember which year, across the US.

And in Oklahoma, we had... There was a woman in the GIRL ATTORNEY Oklahoma group who said, "Hey, who wants to go down and support the teachers?" I'm thinking, "We'll go down on Friday, if anyone's interested." Well, a whole bunch of people were like, "Yeah." Long story short, yes. A lot of people said yes. And this lawyer then posted on her social media, something like, "We're going to be there, legislators. You're on notice, and you'll know us when you see us. We'll be the women in black."

And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I just love that." Assertive, right? But she just threw the gauntlet down. Funny story. Then she goes to take a shower, and her husband's knocking on the door of the bathroom. He's like, "Did you post something on our social media page?" Because the post blew up. Right?

Rio Peterson:

Wow.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So we ended up having about... Gosh, I don't want to exaggerate. Well, we had hundreds, maybe a couple hundred, I can't remember now, women from all over the state that showed up. And by the way, men who covered their dockets so that they could be there that Friday. Right? Super sweet. Right?

Rio Peterson:

Wonderful.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So we show up, and this all was facilitated. It was not the group that organized it. It was a woman in the group who asked, "Hey, anybody else want to do something about this?" Right?

Rio Peterson:

Yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And people were like, "Yeah." So this question was asked on a Thursday. By Sunday, we're being interviewed by CBS Nightly News.

Rio Peterson:

What?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I know. It was insane.

Rio Peterson:

Incredible. That's incredible.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

It was insane. Women on Sunday night were like, "Hey, should we have tables out there to pass out things to teachers tomorrow morning?" And by Monday morning, at 5:30 in the morning, there were three tables donated, brought, and set up. Someone had a tent. We had cookies to pass out. We had gas gift cards to pass out. And here's the thing: No one was in charge of this. It was women going, "Well, I could do this. I'm going to go do that."

Rio Peterson:

Wow.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

It didn't need to be cleared through anybody. It wasn't like we're looking for volunteers to do. It was just women thinking, "Here's the situation. I could contribute this way." One person thought to call the bar association and ask, because it's right next to the Capitol, if we could organize there, and they said, "Oh, yes. You can come and organize, but don't park in our parking lot." Okay. It didn't even occur to me.

So we all show up, because, again, I'm not in charge. But in the end, we were a visible group in support of the teachers. Laws don't change because a bunch of people show up on one day. It's just not the way it works, unfortunately. But we were able to show up in force. We get there. I get word that there's a local high school band that heard we were going to be marching from the bar association to the Capitol and wanted to lead us in.

Rio Peterson:

I love this.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And I was literally in that moment when they were like, "They're all here." I'm looking over, and there's literally... It's the Norman High School Band. And I think there's two bands here, so I don't remember which one. But anyway, they're there, and I am like, "Oh." I'm like, "No, no, no," because I'm not like the, "You'll see us, the women in black." Right? Someone else said that. I did show up in black, but I also was just stressed. Right?

I'm just like, "Oh my gosh, it's not about us." And even in that moment, they're like, "Oh, we're here to do this." And I was like, "No." I started to say no, and I thought, "No, but it isn't about you. It's about the teachers, and it's about this band. They also want to participate. We all want to be here and show our visible support for these people."

Okay. On the other side of that, this is getting to my point, I heard more than one person say, "See? Look what happens when women help women." And I couldn't help but think, Rio, I don't think any one of those women were pushing down their natural inner bitch.

Rio Peterson:

Yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Believe me if you need to.

Rio Peterson:

No.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

But I do not think that anyone was not being themselves.

Rio Peterson:

Wow.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And I thought, "Wait a minute. What if that narrative is, 'I understand. There's competitive people in the world who are very unpleasant. They are both male and female'?"

Rio Peterson:

Yes. Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And I think based on what I observed, because I was like, "Wait, wait, wait," this is incredible. All these women, nobody was asked to do anything, but they all were now operating in a space where clearly what they wanted to contribute was going to be received. And look what happens when you create a space where women get to lead.

Rio Peterson:

Yes. Absolutely.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

They get to follow their own lead, their heart, their mind, use their experience, their access, their connections. Guess what happens? A really wonderful, beautiful thing. When we came around the corner, the band, the teachers cheered. They felt loved. They were literally crying. We're crying, they're crying. It was a powerful thing. And all of it happened because there was a space where women got to trust themselves and do what was next. Right?

Rio Peterson:

Yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So I was like, "Oh my gosh, this really makes me wonder. This whole narrative of women who are attacking women, who created that narrative?" It would've been, in my opinion, the dominant society, quote, unquote, "society," of whatever fill-in-the-blank business culture that now, a few decades ago, not that many decades ago, maybe five decades ago, started allowing a woman. Oh, now we have two women. It must've been quite the spectacle, right?

Rio Peterson:

Yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And whether you're the first or the second woman, you're not the majority. And the people who are observing are telling the story of what's going on, and they basically pit these two people against each other-

Rio Peterson:

Yup. Absolutely.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

... or maybe there's three, or maybe there's four. And I have a suspicion, with zero data to back it up, that this whole narrative of women are fighting women is because they were pit against each other, but not because women fight women.

Rio Peterson:

Right. Right. Absolutely.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

What do women do? Look at the bathroom in the bar. That's what women are, right?

Rio Peterson:

Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

They're like, "Girl, you got this. He is not good enough for you."

Rio Peterson:

Yes. Yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

That's who we are.

Rio Peterson:

Yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And I'm not saying that men can't support each other. It's not a contrast. It's not a zero-sum game. Right? Like some people, "We're the gender who's nice to people." Not that. I'm just saying, this narrative is wrong.

Rio Peterson:

Yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I saw it in this microcosm from Thursday to Monday. I was like, "What even just happened? What just happened?" And then in the years since, I just get to see it every day in the community.

Rio Peterson:

Yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

It's the most delightful, amazing, kind of sacred thing. And I just hope I don't screw it up. That's really my goal. That, and I don't want to get hit by a bus and not have a succession plan. That's my other big problem right now.

Rio Peterson:

Yes. Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I'm like, "Oh, I don't really have a structure. I oversee this space, and what happens if something happens to me?" I really got to get that in order. Right? But anyway, that's what we do. That's what it does.

Rio Peterson:

It's incredible. It's incredible.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

It's women helping women.

Rio Peterson:

It really seems to me too, to your point, about competition between women. What better way to keep women from succeeding than to pit them against each other?

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Absolutely.

Rio Peterson:

It's the thinking that they have to compete with each other for a seat at the table, when in reality, we need to just maybe make that table bigger, and then that makes room for everyone.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And, of course, we're talking about GIRL ATTORNEY, and it's about women, and it's Women's History Month. It also was just Black History Month.

Rio Peterson:

Yes.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And, of course, there's all sorts of faces where, similarly, if you're not the dominant culture, you are pit against each other.

Rio Peterson:

Yes. Yes. Absolutely.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Right?

Rio Peterson:

Yup. Absolutely.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So I don't want to equate like, "Oh, because I am a woman, it's kind of like being a Black person." No, no, no, no, no, no. No. I do not have that same experience. But I would be remiss to say, "Hey, women are really left out. Women have been pit against each other," without saying, "Hey, look, that is a thing." And then if you also are not a white woman, which, if people are listening to this and not watching it, I'll tell you, I'm a white woman.

Rio Peterson:

Absolutely.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And so, I have only that. But that's another reason why access is so important to me in the groups, because I think it's important that the space invite everyone in, because if you're not white and you're a lawyer, male or female, you're a minority in the space.

Rio Peterson:

Right.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

You are.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Right? And then there's sexual orientation. There's so many ways that you can be basically pit against other people and made to feel that you're not a full member. You're not a full member.

Rio Peterson:

Right. Right.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So this all started because of my experience just being a woman. But the more I learn about the experience I have had and what I feel, the more strongly I feel about broadening that welcoming experience to anyone who has been made to feel that they don't... "Oh, wait. Why are you here?" That they aren't actually a full member, just because they don't look like the dominant. So first, we've got white men, and then we've got white people. Right?

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And it goes out from there. But it's so important to me that the group be a welcoming place for everybody, and everybody has access to everyone.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Level playing field.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah. It's really inspiring, Susan. Really, this has been such an incredible conversation. I had no idea about supporting the teachers, and just the depths that this community has, I guess, explored and is starting to explore, and how open it is to anyone, regardless of experience, background, where you came from, what color you are, sexual orientation, anything. We need more of that in this world. And so, it's really fantastic that you're creating that, and I think that's a pretty incredible thing.

And not only that, but making space for it. Not just to be the thing that you started, but to be something that all women have a hand, all members, and everyone who's part of it has a hand in building and crafting and making their own. That is a really special thing, to be able to make space for others to claim it as their own as well.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

I hope so.

Rio Peterson:

Oh, I'm going to get weepy. I'm getting weepy. It means a lot. It really does. It means a lot. So I know we've run over time. I think we could probably just talk about this forever. But maybe let's wrap up with, can you just quickly tell everybody where they can go to join GIRL ATTORNEY, and how they can find out more? Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

So all of the groups are... There's two things. There's a website, girlattorney.com. Also, if you go to boyattorney.com, it goes to girlattorney.com.

Rio Peterson:

Wonderful.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

LOL. But anyway, and from that site, it will tell you how... It tells you more. Alternatively, and there is a directory that you can register for on the group, on the website, and that gets you on the newsletter, stuff like that. But alternatively, if you do have to be on Facebook, so you got to deal with Mr. Zuckerberg-

Rio Peterson:

On the book of faces. Yeah.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Yeah. Yeah. If you can get past that hurdle, and you are on Facebook, then the fastest and easiest way to get to any of the groups is to go to the GIRL ATTORNEY, LLC Facebook business page.

Rio Peterson:

Okay.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

On that page, there's a tab somewhere that says, "Groups." You may need to go to the one that says, "Other." And under Other, you'll find groups. But from the business page, there's a tab that says, "Groups." And under the groups, every single one of the groups is listed with a button there, the Facebook button, where you click to join. You'll need to answer a few questions. And once you have answered those questions, I'll get alerted, and I admit you.

And then from there, you can request to join any other group. And it's basically automatic because of the way Facebook has set it up, that once you've been admitted, cleared for one GIRL ATTORNEY group, you're automatically approved to any other. It's usually, you just request and you click Refresh after being admitted to the first. So that's it.

Rio Peterson:

Perfect.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

And then you can help, be helped-

Rio Peterson:

Fantastic.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

... et cetera, et cetera.

Rio Peterson:

Oh, wonderful. Oh, that's so fantastic. Well, this has been great, Susan. Thank you-

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Thank you so much for your time.

Rio Peterson:

Yeah. Thank you for your time. Thank you for sharing and telling us about this really exciting kind of group that you built and just grown. Yeah. And I hope many more people join, and it just continues to grow and create space for everyone.

Susan Carns Curtiss:

Me too. Me too. Thank you so much again. Really, it's an honor. I appreciate you so much.

Rio Peterson:

Oh, thank you. I appreciate you too, Susan. All right, everybody. Well, join us next month or next week. I guess we'll see. We've got a couple new podcast episodes coming out pretty soon here. But otherwise, have a fantastic day, and we will see you... Well, you'll hear us soon.

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